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21 Day Daniel Fast

2012-01-26T18:49:00.000-05:00

So I've been doing this 21 day Daniel fast with my church and today is my last day (I started late). I've learned a lot of things from this, spiritually. Emotionally. Mathematically.

(For those of you who don't know, the Daniel fast can be found in Daniel 1:8-14 &10: 2,3)

First: it's hard for me to remember not to eat bread and cheese!! Ben had to constantly remind me that I couldn't have things.

Second: speaking of Ben, he was so awesome during this! When I first told him, he was so excited for me and it was great to have such support through the emotional ups and downs. He even went out and bought me food or would go shopping with me (always carefully checking the labels of everything). We had a lot of grocery store fun!

Third: I've come to appreciate food I pass by so often. Making my own food from scratch has been an amazing experience. I'm never buying bagged tortilla chips again. I also felt better physically because everything I had was so healthy. Guacamole, hummus, beans and rice are all amazing. Also, like no one already knew this, but Triscuits are so freaking good!

Fourth: I also appreciate all the food I've not been able to eat for these past three weeks. At midnight I'll have a Guinness and some chocolate cake! And then probably throw up...

Fifth & Final: asking God to work in you and rip out roots in your heart HURTS! But it has been amazing and I'm a lot stronger than I realized. I have a lot more self control than I thought I did. And for the first time in a long time, even though I'm still emotionally up-and-down, I don't feel crazy. I really feel like I am stable and sane.

Looking for a world-rocking experience? Fast. Exercise your self control. Give up your strength to a God more powerful than you. Let Him do what He needs to do.

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 12

2012-01-09T11:52:00.000-05:00

OKAY! I'm done pussyfooting around with this stupid love blog thing. For crying out loud I need to stop over-thinking things!

I love beer.

I also love this picture. These advertisements are awesome and when I went to England I almost got some underwear with this toucan on it. I should have.. but £15 seemed a lot for a pair of panties.

I was on my way to Thanksgiving dinner when I heard a Miller Lite commercial on the radio. Now, I always enjoy their commercials because they can be clever, but I really listened to it and laughed when they said "Man up! And get a beer with real taste!"

Ha.

Now, I am not a beer snob. I used to be! But I feel as if I have grown up in my drinking palate. I will try anything. But I know for a fact that there are plenty of better tasting beer out there than Miller Lite. And I know they know their main competition is Bud and Coors and the like, and that's who they're directing this at. But still!!

Man up and drink a beer that's not lite!

Like Guinness. It's like the anti-lite.

Now, I know it's narrow minded to say that Guinness is the best beer but I'm gong to say it anyway.

Guinness is the best beer!

And I can't wait to try it when I get to go to Ireland this summer.

Oh, did I forget to tell you? Yeah, I just found out this week that I'm probably going to Ireland for three weeks in July for a nanny job. It's not set in stone, but I am very excited about the idea!

Though I'm terribly worried I'll never want to come home. And that I'll never want American Guinness ever again.

So there! That's what I love.

Moving on now...

Thirty day Photo Challenge

2011-12-08T17:52:00.000-05:00

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

Wow... It's been a long time. And I know I say that a lot.

But this time I was purposefully avoiding blogging because love has become somewhat an enigma lately...

Well, having had a really big break up in the spring and then (last I blogged) starting a new relationship and just trying to figure things out. And then he ended up leaving me in October so... Yeah.

Love wasn't something I really wanted to talk about.

Still don't really.

But there are different kinds of love, right? Agape, philia, eros, all that good stuff.

I think I think far too much about this kind of stuff. I should just write about how much I love Guinness and get it over with.

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 11

2011-09-26T14:32:00.000-04:00

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

I don't actually hate facebook. Nor do I hate the changes. But I recently decided to delete mine.

It started when I realized I was freaking out when my boyfriend (haven't come up with a clever nick name yet) wasn't rushing to add our relationship online. Like I just broke down. And he just asked me why it was so important and even though I had a few reasons, I realized they weren't really that big of a deal anyway!

Then it's like I started hearing about the fruitlessness of facebook everywhere: we talked about it in class, it was on the news, friends started complaining all the time. I realized it was more annoying to keep it than to get rid of it.

I stopped caring about people's updates and my news feed seemed cluttered so I figured it was time to at least purge it. But I've done that before. You know when you go through and delete a few people that you wonder why you added them in the first place.

But this time I got rid of a ton of people! And I cleaned out a lot of stupid "likes" I didn't care about and apps that were outdated. It felt pretty good actually. Like a weight off my shoulders. But I still decided to get rid of it.

It won't be forever (I love keeping up with my family way too much to get rid of it forever), just until I know it won't be annoying anymore.

Also, I'm hoping, that when I come back there will be more changes that will take away all the useless crap that's been added on.

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 10

2011-09-12T17:42:00.001-04:00

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most stupidest things with.

Remember my best friend Jenni? Well that's her cousin Eva on the left, then me (look at that freaking long hair!), Jenni's behind me and then their two friends whose names I haven't asked permission to use.

This is "Ode to Brush 2".

You'll have to turn it way up to hear it. There's a little kid giggling in the background. It's hilarious.

Just be grateful Eva hasn't finished "The Crystal Orb 2". I'm always in their sequels... No originality in me! I just let them drag me along with whatever nonsense they're doing and we always have a hilarious time.

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 09

2011-08-22T20:18:00.002-04:00

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

This is a harsh question. Who has gotten you through the most? At least it is for me because I've had a lot of people get me through a lot.

I am a "too open" person and I have been known to dump too much on people too quickly, and it turns
people off. But I feel like I've grown into myself and understanding the balance between being open and expecting people to carry my problems for me.

And since I'm a procrastinator, this blog came at a great time because today was the last day of me seeing my therapist, Liz.

I've been going to see her for almost 2 years now, I started in December of 2009, and today we reviewed some of my goals that I had set way back then.

It was pretty incredible to see how far I've come and how I've reached every single goal I set for myself... Well except for working out more. But that's minor. ;]

My biggest thing was becoming my own person without having to rely on people to keep me "propped up" so to speak.

I love my friends dearly! But I know that I can be so... overwhelming to people and it's not healthy to not be able to make decisions on my own.

But now I feel like I can and it's a beautiful thing. And just the little touches on it felt like small gifts from God.

I didn't know that I was her longest client, and she said I had grown so much it was amazing to her to be able to move on to a new job and leave me in a better place emotionally. It also helped that I was the last client she saw at this job... just a nice little touch. I've been saying that God has given me these little "bows" on things as a final touch to make them special for me, and this was one of them.

I got her a journal as a thank you present and after she unwrapped it she gave me the small ribbon back and I decided to keep it on my rear-view mirror as a Spiritual Souvenir to remind myself how far I've come and that God loves me enough to give me these little "bows" on parts of my life, like a finger print.

(That's something Pastor Mark talks about in his book Soul Print. You should check it out!)

Honest Prayers

2011-08-17T18:12:00.000-04:00

So, I've been praying for a long time.

I was raised in the church and had a great community keeping me up throughout life and even after graduating high school when my parents encouraged me to find my own church, I continued to grow in my own faith.

Anyway, I've always had problems praying. Or focusing on praying really. I get so distracted. I get caught up in what I think I'm supposed to say, and then my brain wanders off so before I know it I'm making to-do lists instead of talking to God.

But lately I've been just praying exactly what I'm thinking and it started with this:

I'm walking in DC on the way to church. Bryan's church. And I'm nervous as heck (more on that in my last post).

I feel myself breaking down already, so I pray "God, please let me keep control."

And I swear to you, I heard Him laugh.

Immediately I chuckled a little, "You know what I mean, keep control of my emotions."

"You really want to keep control of anything when you can give it to Me?"

Yeah, you know... just walking down town. Chatting with God.

I know that sounds odd, but I've never had a candid conversation with God before. And when I finally did, I HEARD HIM.

Honesty, God likes it.

I've been continuing it too! Like last night, I wasn't sleeping. Just tossing and turning and thinking about the only thing that seems to run in my head lately, my now failed relationship. And I was upset.

"God. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't he be passionate for me? Or why couldn't I accept what it was he wanted to give me? What was so wrong with that? What was so wrong with me?"

And then I heard Him whisper, almost apologetically. Like a parent who has to do something for their child they know will hurt them.

"That was Me."

It was like the world crashed. I've been told more times in the past few months than I can count "God is jealous, and He won't let you feel whole from anyone else if you're not whole in Him first."

But to hear it directly from Him made it so obviously real.

And then I reached a little forward.

"Is this You too?"

I was referring to this new source of joy in my life. This very basic form love and comfort I've found and have been hesitant at perusing.

It's not like it's a bad thing, far from it! But I rarely trust my own emotions (obviously) and so I wasn't sure if going in this new direction was of God or if it was of my own, selfish creation.

"That was Me."

Only this time, it sounded like it was said with a smile. As if I had found a surprise and He was so excited I had finally discovered it. I immediately broke down (and I'm tearing up now) because even though I wasn't asking God for it, or even looking for it, He had gotten it for me.

I don't deserve it! But I'm going to cherish it as the gift it is, and take out any selfishness I've already put into it and turn it toward the path it was intended, because it was good.

Breaking up sucks...

2011-08-04T11:45:00.000-04:00

After not blogging over a month I would usually start a new one with "I am a terrible blogger". Which is true... But in this case I didn't blog because I didn't know what to say.

Should I pretend that everything is fine and continue with my normal funny (read: I think is funny) photo challenge? Or should I address the fact that Bryan and I broke up?

And is that even appropriate? I mean I don't think it would be right to sit here and tell everyone the intimate details of our relationship, but is it also fair to give you the watered down version of it?

I don't know. So I'm just going to respect his privacy, but at the same time type from my heart and what's been going on in my head.

Breaking up sucks.

Bryan was my first real relationship, not to mention the longest. I know to some people being together three years isn't a lot, but it was a lot to me. You can build so much with a person in three years without even knowing it.

For goodness sake we were talking about getting married next year!

That's a huge commitment.

And even though we both knew it was coming, it's still a shock.

It's like... "Now what?"

Where do I go from there? It's so hard having someone there, every day for three years and then all of a sudden it's nothing. I don't know what's going on in his head. I don't know what he's doing. I only get snippets from the internet.

(Which is more than people used to get, I know. Don't go all "walk up hill both ways" on me.)

And then after the shock wore off I realized I had to start over.

Not in a new relationship, but in life. I had built so much with Bryan that I looked forward in time and realized that the next 5 years of my life that I had planned with him were gone and it was full of nothing.

And that's when all the hurt comes.

The trips we planned, the families we had come to know and love, the dream wedding, the kids names.

Gone. All gone. Realizing that I had to walk in this world without him anymore...

And that's when the guilt comes in. Because, in all honesty, this breakup was my fault.

In the end it was mutual, but I was the one who started it. I was the one who realized how unhappy I was and I broke his heart.

And then even more guilt pours on because I should have seen this coming! I should have realized. Then I look back and see all the stuff I missed. All the things I could have done to save it, right next to all the things that were bad and building up to this end.

This back and forth between pain and guilt and loss is so draining. And I'm just trying to make sense of all of it. Trying to find some sort of pattern to break or a fix. These words are just a fraction of what has been going on this month and a half. I've been letting it run over and over in my head just trying to get it to make sense.

And then the worst thing happens: things start to get better. I realize that this is really better for us. Now we can both truly be happy and not just content. That starting over a new life is exciting and adventurous.

And then I crash again.

Because I realize how much I've lost. And this goes on and on. Sometimes more than once in a day!

It's exhausting.

But the worst part of it all is the fact that I miss going to church.

I say I haven't been because I'm busy (and I am), but I'm terrified.

That was his church long before me and I started coming with him. I only just made it my home church less than a year ago and now I don't know what to do.

At first we were thinking that there are so many campuses we don't have to see each other, but he plays for worship team and that's difficult.

Now he says it's okay if I'm there even if he's playing. But I don't know if I could go through that.

I only just started getting to know everyone, and they're all his friends. I'm not saying they will all shun me or anything, but it's still so lonely.

Who will I sit with? Who will I talk to? Will anyone I knew talk to me out of loyalty to Bryan?

Church is a safe place, but people are still human and I'm sure some people have negative feelings for me because this breakup was my fault.

It's just so hard to realize how truly disconnected I am now. And terrifying to think that I'll have to face it alone.

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 08

2011-06-08T14:23:00.005-04:00

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

This... is the Christmas Fish.

To some brave souls (like me) it is the highlight of your year. When the Christmas Fish comes out at Auntie Nonnie's house (Auntie Nonnie is one of Mom's sisters and the wife of Uncle Doctor) it is really Christmas time.

To others, it is a terrifying demon sent to curse us all! Some of my family members, who shall remain nameless, fear the Christmas Fish.

Preposterous, I say!

I love the Christmas Fish! It's so funny and clever. It's got arms for goodness sake!

Here is a better photo of the Christmas Fish.

Yeah. It's awesome.

A late Mothers Day blog.

2011-05-16T15:02:00.000-04:00

This is going to seem like a bunch of jumbled stories piled together.

Which it is!

But they all tie in somehow. My mom is ridiculous. She's got a lot of odd qwerks but I'm going to tell you about my personal favorite.

Long ago, when I was about 13 we lived in an older house. Now, my room (that I shared with Aitch) had wood paneling on the back wall where our closets were and there were a few beams of dark wood against the white ceiling. I tell you all that to tell you this: there was a spider or a nest of spiders in that room that we could not kill (we tried everything!!) and it ate my legs to bits every night.

I even resorted to tucking my pants into my socks and tucking my shirt into my pants. No exposed skin for me! Still, all over my left leg and especially around my ankle I was covered in little red dots. Apparently, not only do spiders love me but my body hates them. I blew up like a balloon. Not to the point where I needed medical help, it doesn't stop my heart or anything. I just look gross.

I tell you that to tell you this: recently, because it is summer, my eczema started acting up worse than before. I had a small red bump on the crook of my arm. It got bigger and full of pus and then two more sprouted on my bicep and elbow. Imediately I thought it was spider bites, except the first one that popped up was different. Now, Miss Paranoid Jr: Shelf, insisted it was staph which aggravated Miss. Paranoid Sr: Mom. I was immediately taken to the doctors who said it might be staph, but looks more like spider bites. I'm on antibiotics anyway.

Well they just get worse and worse, especially the first one. It turned out to be two pimples on top of each other and man did it get BIG. I squeezed it and drained it a little to try and take the pressure off, but it just got worse.

Here's where it gets weird... my mother is obsessed with popping zits. Like she will fight over it and beg and plead us to let her get our pimples. Well, her freaking dream has come true. These puppies are about to burst. She begged and begged and begged me and finally I just had enough of her incessant patter and my arm hurt really bad.

So she spends two days on the big nasty one on the crook of my arm. We finally got it completely drained and it's starting to heal. THANK GOODNESS! Well, the one on my upper arm just got worse and finally I let her have that one too, though I was convinced that it wasn't ready.

Well she held me down and got the "lid" off to get to the pus. It hurt like crazy! For some reason, when it's squeezed from the sides it's fine, but when it's squeezed from top to bottom it's just a huge amount of pain. Then, like a freaking ball out of a cannon the stupid thing exploded and pus shot 3 feet out. It was so freaking gross and I almost threw up. This was like an hour ago and the swelling is finally going down.

She is brutal. Don't let her get near you with a warm washcloth.

Happy belated Mothers Day!

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 07

2011-05-01T18:40:00.000-04:00

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

Kind of a sad post today. My most treasured item I lost a while ago. It's probably been 2 years or so. It was a blue paua shell necklace shaped in a heart like the one above, but mine was silver and not gold. My boyfriend got it for me when he went on vacation with his family.

I wore it just about every day for a long time. Then I put it on a ribbon for a bracelet and wore it like that for a while. Until we went to our church for an event one night and when we got on the metro later I looked down and it was gone. The doors on the train were about to close and I almost jumped out to go look for it, but Boyfriend grabbed me.

Boyfriend's friend was with us so I couldn't exactly cry in front of them, but I wanted to. I was completely broken hearted about it.

It meant so much to me because Boyfriend and I were still fairly new in our relationship and he had told me at one point that he would never buy a girlfriend jewelry until he bought the ring.

Well, when he came back from his trip and had this as a surprise, I knew he was going to marry me one day.

He's gotten me three beautiful necklaces since then, but I'll always remember the first one.

It was going to be my something blue, I guess I'll have to find a new one.

I love you, Bryan.

6/2(1+2)

2011-04-28T16:15:00.000-04:00

Okay. I'm no mathematician. Nor am I the daughter of a mathematician but for duck's sake this has gone far enough.

The answer is 1 and I will tell you why.

Please.

Excuse.

My.

Dear.

Aunt.

Sally.

You do not solve mathematic equations simply by going left to right. You do NOT divide 6 by 2 and then multiply that by 1+2.

Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Hoffman would strike you with a ruler.

You use the acronym Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally to do the equation in order.

Parentheses.

Exponents.

Multiplication. (Left to right)

Division. (Left to right)

Addition. (Left to right)

Subtraction. (Left to right)

Therefore:

6/2(1+2)

6/2(3)

6/6

1

THE ANSWER IS 1!!!

And no, dear facebook friends, unlike "politics or almost everything else in life" it is not "up to interpretation".

Yes. Someone actually said that.

It's math. Math is the one of the things in life that is guaranteed. Yes, one could argue that in higher up math the rules are bent and whatever. But let's leave that up to Steven Hawking. This is basic algebra and if you follow the proper rules you get the proper answer.

I honestly cannot believe that people actually believe that they can solve everything by saying "That's your opinion" or "Well that's the way you see it".

Now, don't get me wrong... I am a huge fan of agreeing to disagree and loving thy neighbor. I feel like a lot of our world problems would be solved if everyone wasn't trying to jam their own philosophies down other people's throats.

But this is math.

And whether or not you like it, there are rules. And those rules must be followed or you will get the answer wrong.

If I'm not mistaken, the people who stand behind "That's your opinion" also stand for moderation, yes? Well remember to use that saying in moderation because it's not always true.

I'm sorry, but there are absolutes in life. Death, taxes, and math.

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 06 (Rated R)

2011-04-20T17:57:00.002-04:00

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

So some of you may understand why this blogpost is going to be rated R. And some of you are probably like,

"Who is that jolly looking old fat guy? He looks like Santa."

Well he is Santa, if Santa coached the Washington Capitals and said "fuck" every other word. He is Bruce Boudreau and I love him.

First off, he's from Canada and as you all should know I love the Canadians. Also, he was a hockey player himself and was badass. Well maybe not in his stats, but he was badass to me. 20 years playing professionally. That's awesome.

As a coach, he's turned the Capitals around because before him we were nothing and without a prayer in the world. And while we haven't won the Stanley Cup yet, we will. This is our year and we're playing better than ever. (Note that I am using the first person when I talk about the team because I really feel like I'm apart of them. 'Cause I'm a nerd).

But the best part of Boudreau is that he swears. A lot. And some of you may be like,

"How dare you like swearing so much."

But the thing you don't understand is people thought he was a bit idiot. Just go to youtube and search Bruce Boudreau commercials and see for yourself. Go on! Search!

But then the HBO series "Penguins, Capitals 24/7 Road to the Winter Classic" came out where essentially they just follow the two teams around 24/7 for the games right before their big show down at the Winter Classic (and for you non hockey people, that's not the championship or anything, it's just a big deal because it's played outside). It was then that people started saying that Boudreau is a big jerk because he swears a lot. I just think he's a cool guy.

During games, every time the other team scores the cameras go directly to Boudreau and I don't know why because the first thing out of his mouth is fuck, and the second is shit. And it's not like he mumbles it... he's screaming at the top of his little lungs!

Here's a clip (rated R!) of the 24/7 show with my favorite line "Surely, the fuck, we can deal with this"

http://www.youtube.com/embed/mQuOu4OwswI

He is awesome and I would love to trade places with him for the day to be with the Caps.

And maybe get a peek at that Ovie rear. Yummy.

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 05

2011-04-11T22:40:00.002-04:00

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

So there are a ton of memories I could write about... This past St. Patrick's day was amazing. Going to the OBX with Boyfriend's family was a blast. Any time my step siblings come over is crazy. And going up to Maine with my dad, grandmother, and sisters is so memorable.

But come on... Disney World! Now I know that Boyfriend did his Day 05 on Disney World too, but I promise I'm not copying. We're just that awesome together.

And mine is way better because I went with my graduating class. It was a ton of fun.

We were the biggest graduating class at our little private school with 28 students total. Though there are only 27 here. And I know you'll count so I'll say that the guy kneeling in front is actually a dad of one of the students. But yeah we were all really close (except one kid who was a total downer and didn't want to do anything fun).

I won't bore you with all the details (you're so jealous) but one funny thing is we would break up into groups of like 5-8 and by the end of the day we would have all merged back together into one giant blob of 28 kids and like 7 chaperones running around some park.

That may not seem awesome to you, but it's very special to me because I spent six years with most of these kids and we were a tight-knit group. Yeah, everyone had their special friends but we didn't really have cliques. Yeah we argued a lot in class (mostly in Bible) but it was never heated and I honestly feel like I became a better, stronger person through all of it. Iron sharpens iron.

It's not just Disney that's my favorite memory, it's the memory of these kids. I love all of them and I think fondly of all the amazing times we had together.

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 04

2011-04-07T00:13:00.000-04:00

Day 04 - A picture of your night.

(I think I waited so long to do this post until I had an interesting night...)

Today is Shelf's 20th birthday! Tradition entails that we cook the birthday girl's favorite dinner (in this case: sticky chicken) and have cake (in this case: Krispy Kreme doughnuts) and sit around the table and talk (in this case: yell) about stories and things we used to do.

Sounds crazy, right? Well it's normal for us... and Shelf now has a boyfriend which is very awesome and for the sake of blog I am going to call him Lappy.

(Back story: I got a laptop for my graduation from high school and named it an awesome name. Well when Shelf met this kid he happened to have this really obscure name. And we refer to this laptop by it's given name so we're like "Pass lappy," and Lappy is like "What?" It gets very confusing).

So Mom, British Step dad, me, Frizzo, Aitch, Shelf, and Lappy are all sitting around the table screaming stories to poor Lappy that he's never heard before and almost all of them involve Mom kicking someone's cart at the store or yelling at the Chick-fil-a worker to "just grab the pie".

Well somehow we get on the subject of videos we used to make as kids and realized we have them, just no VHS player. So we do the logical thing and run to Wal Mart at 10 at night to go buy one!! I down the last third of my beer so they won't leave without me.

And we get there and there's a cart in the middle of the spot we want so I leap out of the car and grab it while they park. Frizzo jumps in the cart and I'm running with her and then jumping on the back to ride along and Shelf jumps on too. But then Frizzo gets all nervous and so she demands I stop running.

Which I don't...

Duh.

So I'm trying to run in the store with her in the cart and Atich is trying to grab it to get it to stop while Shelf and Lappy are following trying to keep up.

We get the player and get home to play THREE tapes full of nonsense that we have and it is better than we could have ever imagined!! There are school projects and me cheerleading and 4th of july parties at our uncle's house. There are departed friends and old pets and even older houses. Christmas and birthdays and even more nonsense!

Mostly it's just Shelf and Frizzo making funny infomercials about playing in the streets and milk mustaches.

It is epic.

And that was my night. :]

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 3

2011-03-26T07:30:00.007-04:00

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

Just so you know it is so on between me and Boyfriend for this thirty day photo challenge thing. I'm trying to see if I can keep up with him because he's insisting he can do it all in 30 days. What he doesn't know is that I'm doing full blogs and he's just going to do "some text". Well poo to you Boyfriend!

M*A*S*H is probably my favorite show of all time because I started watching it as a kid with my dad and I continue to this day.

It's timeless really... It's one of the most popular shows of all times and the final episode was the number one watched television show of all times until 2010 with Super Bowl XLIV. That is incredible!

I found this picture because it has all the good characters in it. :]

I don't think I've seen every single episode, but I'm close! If you ever want to get me a great present just ask me what seasons I need and I'll let you know!

Anyway, this show is what got me into medicine and made me want to be an nurse (that failed) but it also brings back my love for the old styles... I love waist-high pants. I think it's sexy on certain figures (I mean think of pencil skirts! Right?)

Preferences:

Potter over Blake

Hunnicutt over Trapper

And I've never decided if I like Winchester over Burns or not. I like them both.

I want to be like Hot Lips when I grow up.

Thirty Day Photo Challenge-Day 02

2011-03-25T15:43:00.001-04:00

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for awhile.

Jenni!! Jenni Penny Pumpkin-spice for short... I've known this kid since the 7th grade.

There are a lot of people I could put in this category, to be honest... pretty much any one I've known since middle school through high school. But then college started and by chance (aka: we're really poor) Jenni and I stuck around to go to community college.

Also, we didn't really want to grow up. And going to a real college means no more free room and foods.

So we stuck together like good private-schooled girls thrown into the real world should.

Not only is Jenni awesome, but she is an artist! I know right?

She's been drawing since forever and not only will her paper-and-ink drawings blow you away, she's amazing with just about any other medium of physical art. Painting, sketching, sculpting, that thing where you push aluminum foil into a picture, stuff like that.

And she plays music.

And she cooks.

And she sews.

Best part gentlemen= she's single!! :D

And she's totally going to kill me for posting all this! It's okay though, I still love her.

I love her family too. They've become like a second home to me and her parents are the greatest. Her brothers rock too

Pretty much I love you Jenni and you're the greatest. Be my best friend? :]

Thirty Day Photo Challenge-Day 1

2011-03-20T01:03:00.002-04:00

So this 30 day photo challenge on facebook is pretty cool. The way I see it: most people love talking about themselves and most people want to know all the dirt about everyone else! So it's a win-win situation for most everyone. If you don't like either of those things... why are you on facebook anyway?

But I'm annoying so I've decided to do this a little differently, on my blog! Two reasons: I want to get in better habits of blogging regularly, and I want to bring more people to my blog.

I'm a little selfish.

Okay a lot selfish.

Anyway! I'm doing it and I hope it goes well, so without any further ado: Thirty Day Photo Challenge!

Day 1- A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.

1. I love wearing red lipstick (see above).

2. I am the oldest of 4 girls. Plus a step brother and sister. I hope one day to add 8 more too that list.

3. My favorite food is probably Mac n' Cheese.

4. I was going to be a nurse when I first started college, but didn't do well in Anatomy because I have a hard time memorizing things.

5. I'm terrible at thinking of facts about myself.

6. I love reading. I've loved it almost my whole life.

7. I love writing too. But that is fairly new. I want to write a novel.

8. I loved my high school. A lot. It was a great experience and made me who I am today.

9. I love beer. Good beer... Like Guinness.

10. I love comic books, and being a nerd.

11. I watch way too much television.

12. I seriously love cities. Especially New York. Those "I <3 NY" shirts were made for me.

13. I have a love/hate relationship with coffee.

14. Bunnies are my favorite animals.

15. The one thing in life I really feel like I'm meant to do is be a mother and wife. I love Joan Cleaver.

I started this a long time ago, when he shaved and am just getting around to posting it...

2011-02-22T19:48:00.000-05:00

Boyfriend shaved his beard.

And I am sad.

I am one of the few women-who-love-men who loves them with beards. I mean look at this mug...

Who wouldn't love this? And look at those tattoos. Mmmm... That is a fine specimen of a human male. Seriously though, he's really good looking.

He hates growing a beard. He likes having one... but the process of getting to beardage is frustrating for him.

I wouldn't understand this since I don't shave my face. I hardly shave my legs. Only when they're going to be seen in shorts in the summer. Other than that I just let it go. I know it's gross but I don't care. It's a lot of work and EXPENSIVE to shave all that skin and so I just go all furry. The longest I went was October to January of 08-09 without shaving.

Anyway... now that I've totally grossed everyone out, let's get back to the beard...

This is an old photo... we weren't dating back then. But I think it's hilarious and to quote the awesome Steph "It takes a true fashionista to match, perfectly, to the family room love seat. Watch out Heidi Klum!"

But seriously... look at that beard. Awesome, right? Apparently Boyfriend doesn't think so.

Weirdo.

Okay... so here's the truth: I mostly love the beard because when he doesn't have one he only shaves every 4 days or so and his hair is really prickly!! And it hurts to kiss him. I much prefer kissing with the beard. It's way less painful for both parties involved. Also, his stubble gets caught on my hair when I lean on him and when it's longer it doesn't do that so much.

So everyone go tell him that he needs to grow his beard back and he should be grateful that his woman love it. Because most of his friend's wives threaten to not kiss their husbands if they have facial hair.

Haha!!! I love this picture...

My sisters are naggy.

2011-01-26T20:33:00.001-05:00

Okay... first order of business. My sisters have demanded their own names for my blog. They think that sisters #1-3 is stupid and they should have fun names. Well here we go.

Sister #1- is Shelf. It's an old high school nickname she got from her friend.

Sister #2- Frizzo. She got some seriously thick curly hair that the rest of us somehow avoided.

Sister #3- is Aitch. A name our step dad made up for the book he wrote about her.

Stepbrother- BC. Stands for bitch cakes. It's a name we call each other. He's British. I hope that explains it.

Stepsister- Geordie. It's a common nickname for kids born in New Castle, England.

Simple. Easy to remember, right? Good. Glad we could come to this agreement.

(To those who know my sisters personally not mention them by name if you happen to comment and such. It makes my mom uncomfortable to know that I blog about her kids anyway. Thanks)

For all the poor kids...

2011-01-16T23:24:00.000-05:00

So growing up not-so-wealthy means that some luxuries went to the wayside.

Cable.

Store bought clothes.

Not having real heating in the house/central AC (remind me to tell you about my dad's "fan system" for our house).

Vacation usually meant visiting a relative's house.

The family car was always just barely hanging on.

Extra activities.

And name brand foods.

Yes, to every kid who had to bring a packed lunch to school and pulled out not hi-c fruit punch, but apple and eve fruit blend.

Every kid who ate breakfast with not Dig 'Em looking out from the box of sugar smacks, but a bear.

And the worst of all: off brand Cheez-Its. Yes, including Cheese Nips. Those taste like poop. And because my first memorable encounter with Cheese Nips were when they were CatDog shaped, I associate them with gross things. Because that show was gross.

The reason this rant started is my family is cutting back. Like everyone. That's fine! I mean getting groceries at Wal Mart is something a lot of people are doing. It's cheaper that's for sure. And most of their stuff isn't bad.

A lot of people don't know this but Wal Mart brand stuff is actually mostly name brands repackaged. They don't make anything, they just sell other people's stuff.

But back to the rant. So my mom bought Wal Mart Cheeze-Its. Which don't taste terrible. But their texture is awful! They just fall apart the second you look at the box. They're just dust. And it's sad.

Now, it's not all in vain. My family (especially my mom) worked hard to keep us in a private school and out of trouble. A lot of families do that and it's commendable, wanting a better life for their kids. So if it's slacking on name brand foods than so be it. But darn it it's annoying!

And for all your other poor kids, what did you miss out on? Let me know in your comments. Or if you grew up with name brand foods, what would you have hated to give up?

Tell me your story. :]

Merry Christmas.

2010-12-27T16:00:00.001-05:00

Christmas. It just happened. Which means I haven't posted in about a month.

Oops.

Well I hope you will forgive me. Anyway, Christmas. This might come as a huge shock but I'm not a huge fan of Christmas.

But as a part of my new years resolution I'm looking for all the good things and keeping my perspective in the positive.

Those Target commercials were hilarious.

Snow is fun.

My sisters are awesome present givers.

Boyfriend got me a Woody doll from Toy Story :]

I got to eat a lot of fudge.

I love wrapping presents and making the beautiful.

Christmas means my birthday is only 8 days away.

Egg nog is AMAZING!

Tannenbaums smell good.

Tastefully done lights on houses look so nice.

Tacky ones make me laugh.

Okay that's all I can think of for now.

Here's a Christmas frog.

Merry Christmas.

You can totally read this post later...

2010-11-28T18:48:00.000-05:00

I've never been a great student. Always B's and C's. Sometimes an A or two. But mostly B's.

I got grounded for C's.

And my middle and high school (hooray for K-12 private schooling) set up their grades A, B, C, F. No D!

You passed or you failed. And in my mother's eyes a C was failing.

Not to say I wasn't smart. I just didn't care.

Not to say I'm a genius... I never did understand statistics. I prettymuch faked it.

But if I would have just applied myself a little bit throughout my secondary education I could have had all A's easy-peasy.

Why didn't I care? That question haunts me still. Even in my third year of college, looking back at my first two years and my 2.8 GPA.

Ugh... Yeah.

My senior year of high school I watched too much MASH or something and decided I wanted to be in medicine. Well, I couldn't be a doctor cause I wasn't smart enough. I really wanted to be inside peoples bodies though.

Dirty.

Like a surgeon. But again, too much freaking school. So I decided I would be a nurse. Less schooling and I would still be able to be in the medical field.

It wasn't really my idea, my family suggested it to me and I just ran with it. And needless to say it didn't turn out so well. Microbiology and Anatomy kicked my derriere.

I felt pretty defeated. It just reinforced my knowledge of "I'm dumb".

No... I'm not dumb. I'm just lazy. I procrastinate so hard!

So upon the realization that I'm obviously not meant to be a nurse (who knew that you'd have to memorize things like bone and nerves?) I went back to my original idea to be a teacher.

I'd wanted to be a teacher since I was eight and had the COOLEST third grade teacher ever. Miss Bruthers. She rocked. And ever since then I wanted to teach elementary school.

That is until I had dreams of 1980 MASH units dancing in my head. I wanted to be Major Hotlips with those hott high-rise jeans that would accentuate my voluptuous hips.

So I went back to a teaching major but instead of snotty little kids, I'm opting for pimply overgrown non-adults.

I wish to teach high school english.

My favorite thing in the world is reading and what would be more fun than forcing others to read too??

All of that to say this:

I'm supposed to be writing a paper analyzing certain authors or works in early American Literature and

I. Don't. Wanna!

I have never ever completed an assignment before the night before it's due. Now, I've started projects thinking I could finally break the procrastination habit. Oh poor, young, naive me. I should know that as hard as I may want to try laziness is just way more fun.

Like I tweeted yesterday:

CarleyJoan

I should probably do this paper... But there's so much internet I haven't seen yet!about 19 hours ago via web

Procrastination is a cruel, hard mistress. And yet i love her so.

And Red Neck Mommy is awesome and I can't get enough.

UGH! You have no idea how much I don't want to write this paper. It's one of those annoying research papers too where you have to have at least three sources sited and teachers have become smart and wikipedia doesn't count anymore.

Lame.

Though I'm totally going to freak out on my own future students if I even get a whiff of the wikipedia on a paper.

I'm going to make their papers bleed, as my high school english teacher would say.

Because of the red ink...? Oh, Y-You got it? Oh, Ok-Okay good.

I'm in three english classes this semester and my fourth class is drama so I read a lot of plays. That's a lot of reading, and don't get me wrong: I love it. But let's be honest, it's not always interesting. I mean Emerson and Thorearu back to back is rough.

And where it's fun and fancy free to be able to choose your own paper's topic, that's a lot of pressure. It's hard to decide what to write on let alone have enough to write 6-8 pages!! And now it's 6pm and I've hardly started.

Oh, I know what I want to write about. It's just a matter of organizing my thoughts which is easier said than done, says my therapist.

Essentially I want to write about Poe and his non-didactic and shallow, yet well written (selective) works, and compare that to Emily Dickinson who is also unnecessarily depressing and whose works are very meaningful and deep, but written much like a child throwing macaroni and glue on a piece of paper.

And unfortunately I can't write any of that in my actual paper because my teacher will make it bleed grey.

Cause he grades in pencil.

I don't understand why it's so painful to write sometimes.

One day I'll get some sort of high from writing a good paper. And others it's the most brutal thing ever! Like worse than stubbing my toe (and if you know me that's like the worst thing ever).

So instead I just do all the other stuff I've been procrastinating on.

Like writing blog posts.

Nothing like a bigger procrastination to nudge your little procrastinations right along.

The only thing that would get this paper done is having to fill out college applications.

Oy.

This water tastes like wine. Jesus' friends probably said that too...

2010-11-25T00:35:00.000-05:00

So I don't drink often. Really. I'm 38ish days from being 21 and I'm not one to party with friends and nonsense.

I'm good like that.

But I drink with family. Because my family is awesome and Irish. And Scottish.

But that's by marriage.

Not blood.

Don't go thinking I'm a Scott. My mom's sister married a Scott so I'm not one. I just associate with them.

If you haven't gotten the memo yet, I am very...

It's cliche to say "I'm drunk" when one is drunk. But you get the idea.

I know. My grammar and spelling are awesome, right? My therapist would be proud. My OCD is coming through the alcohol.

Wine to be precise. Red wine that is apparently full-bodied. The type you would eat with a red meat. And every time someone said that it just made me want steak.

Boyfriend (who I have on skype right now and he is to blame for this post. Insisting I don't post enough and it would be funny) is reminding me that I'm dating a Scotts-Irish man so I shouldn't hate. And that my children will be Scotts-Irish. Damn him. He's too smart for me.

OH! I'm on skype because I'm in Connecticut with my mom's family for Thanksgiving. But it's only sister #1 and I. No one else. We were technically supposed to be with my dad this year, but sister #1 had shoulder surgery this summer.

Okay. Back-story time.

(Pretend the edges are getting fuzzy and there is harp music playing in the background like a dream sequence in a movie.)

When sister was a wee one of eleven we were spending Christmas in Tennessee with my crazy Mom's side. Her aunt and uncle and such. Well Great Uncle Redneck had had a few and was like "Hey sister #1. You wanna shoot this rifle?"

Sister, who is a down-to-the-core tomboy was like "heck yes."

So my great uncle stands behind her in hopes to help prevent her from being knocked over, but forgets that the recoil will go directly into tiny sister #1's shoulder.

Luckily Uncle Dr. (who is a Dr.) was there to pop it back in place.

But from then on it just stretched her ligaments every time she moved it and got to the point where she was constantly in pain.

So this summer she went to Uncle Dr. and they decided surgery should probably happen. Luckily Uncle Dr. specializes in bones! He's an orthopedic surgeon.

Bad luck, he specializes in knees and hips. Not shoulders. But his partner does!

End back-story.

So she's recovering great but we're up here for a follow-up and such.

Which brings me to the wine!

It was awesome. Though I'm a little disappointed in myself for letting it go to my head. This past summer we were all up here for our annual family reunion (Boyfriend's first time) and he made me a rum and coke.

And I drank it in like less than five minutes.

I am not proud of that day and not one of my sisters has let me live it down.

But since that time I have redeemed myself by being able to drink fair amounts of liquor and beer without so much as being buzzed.

But wine is a fickle beast.

Boyfriend even agrees that a glass will knock even him on his own ever-lovin-lilly-white.

This from the man who can drink quite a bit and still walk.

So I feel less bad. Plus everyone is asleep and no one is here to make fun of me.

So the logical thing to do, of course, is let the entire internet know!

Again, you can thank boyfriend for the encouragement.

Just so you know, I have redeemed myself from that terrible summer at my friend's 21st party. I didn't even break a sweat and I had way more than I did during the reunion.

So don't judge!

This is also the friend who coined the term "fuzzy" for being buzzed which makes sense.

Also the friend who doesn't speak to me anymore. Her loss, right?

Who wants to miss out on THIS??

This was actually taken on the way to said family reunion. Look at that longish hair.

So I'm feeling slightly less fuzzy probably because I drank water and ate triscuts.

(Yes, the same water that tasted like wine. No kidding)

I freaking love those crackers. Andy they were parmesan so it was like crackers and cheese with the cheese in the crackers!!

But not like a cheezit. Though those are epic anyway.

Subway is also awesome! Sister and I got that on the way up. Well she wanted pizza but by the time we hit I-84 it was like 5:30 and we were starving so we went to the only food place within miles and miles and I said

"I think they serve pizza at subway"

She didn't believe me. But they totally do! Little personal pizzas. So we both could get what we wanted. And for me subway is like crack. I get a veggie so it's only 5 bucks which makes it even more awesome.

What is better than $5 crack?

That sentence alone should get me more page-hits.

HI DRUGGIES! Don't get excited. I don't normally post so much about drugs and drinks.

Drinks and drugs.

More page hits!

Boyfriend just informed me he got a "new" sweater.

Whatever that means.

He's odd.

My ear suddenly hurts. Like the inside. Not my cartilage piercing. That always gets all gross and infected cause I messed with it too much when I got it done. But that's all better now.

This is more like inside. Maybe it's from driving on the mountains. My ears don't pop well.

Okay. This is getting less and less funny. Must be the hooch wearing off. I'm going to post this and hope for the best.

Don't hate me.

A Sudden Death in Our Family Circle

2010-11-08T10:05:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to type something short about a sudden death in our family circle.

A dear family friend of my mother's passed away early this weekend. It was very unexpected.

Cheryl Bowers grew up catty-corner across the street from my mother's childhood home. She and her sisters Melanie and Ginny, and their father were very close to us. She and Mel lived together and they were the ones who took my mother, my sisters and I in when my parents separated and we had nowhere to sleep that night.

Please keep Melanie in your prayers. She is already in fragile health and was the one who found her sister. She means so much to myself and my family and we want the very best for her in this time of grief.

Please say a prayer, or think good thoughts for her and her family.

Hockey, Jackass, "s", and Attack of the Redneck Mommy consume my life... oh and lice.

2010-11-01T21:05:00.002-04:00

So there I was on a Saturday night in my Caps uniform semi watching the game (they kicked butt by the way), I complained about having nothing to blog about. Boyfriend, who was sitting next to me, gave me this look and said "What? You live in a house with 4 crazy people!"

Well it's 5 and I'm not sure which one he forgot, but he has a point. I still live with my parents at two months shy of being 21 which makes for some insane conversations with sisters #1-3, mom, and british step-dad.

Just to prove my point sister #1 walked in the door with sister #2 asking how to spell mannequin. No pretense at all, just opens the sliding door and says those words.

Sister #2 holding a Jackass 3D poster she brought from her work, and sister #1 in Christmas colored pajamas preparing for their outing to Walmart to buy pieces for a zombie costume for sister #2 to wear to said work.

My life is insane. For example: I am typing this entire post with a busted "s" button. I spilled soup on my dear little Orla (Yes that is my computer's name, and no I haven't missed the irony in soup breaking my "s"). How am I typing this complete with "s"es? I have the internal keyboard pulled up on my screen so I either click "s" or copy it and paste it every time I need to use "s".

SO APPRECIATE THIS POST!! Also the left shift button doesn't work so I have to use the right one for everything, and I type by feel so this really screws me up.

Back to my crazy family. So we're all enjoying a fairly a-typical Saturday: everybody is home and the Caps game starts at 10pm which is crazy, I know. Not to mention this is what our living room looks like:

Actually... messy is pretty typical.

In the back you'll see Roland the bunny whom sister #3 spilled my cup of water on that night and I had to freaking wipe the whole thing up. It was so very annoying because I had just dragged that sorry piece of plastic out into the teeny-tiny front yard and hosed it down. Well, whenever I do that Roland feels that he too must contribute to the redecorating and throws his litter everywhere and that's what sister #3 spilled my FULL glass of water on.

Also, you'll notice that there is a pile of unsorted socks and bin full of matched ones. That bin was previously full of unmatched socks that has been around since we moved into our half-of-a-town-house (yes. HALF of a town house) almost five years ago. That's why I went to Walmart and bought a ton of socks for a buck each one day because I wasn't sorting through that bin anymore.

And why I didn't wear socks at ALL to high school.

Ever.

Seriously.

Clogs were made for a reason.

Additionally, every brush and hair-thing that exists in our house is on a towel right in front of Ovie on the big screen.

Why, you ask? Because lice are crazy. We've been struggling to completely get rid of lice for the past eight weeks now. Seriously. Every time it seems we've gotten rid of them, they come back! So yet again we boil everything that has touched our heads and washed all the sheets and sprayed every chemical known to man on our beds and cars.

Mom also saw this as an opportunity to get a ton of cleaning done including sorting a bunch of socks.

Sister #2 grabs random socks not even looking for matches. Luckily her favorite OCD big sister found them for her. :]

Side note: Personally I love cleaning. I know it's nerdy and whatnot but I love it. I was assigned to clean our upstairs bathroom (the one I share with three messy and gross girls) and I couldn't be happier. It looks awesome. Though it kind of freaks me out to walk in now because it's not caked in loose hair and the products we use to try and keep it in.

Also watching the Caps was awesome like always. They ended up winning 7-2 after being down in the beginning. I was mostly distracted by my new favorite blog to read: http://www.theredneckmommy.com/ (she's my new reason for not blogging so blame her).

He shaved his beard and I'm sad. Note the sheet on the couch as an attempt to protect them from lice.

Boyfriend and sister #3.

So this is just part of my crazy but awesome life in a part British, part angry, part awkwardly-too-comfortable-with-each-other, part broke, home. We make it.

Boyfriend and I being awesome.

But not without a little occasional sisterly boob-grabbing...

Reasons why Twitter sucks and I hate Boyfriend for forcibly signing me up.

2010-10-16T23:35:00.001-04:00

Okay Twitter... or the twitees (that's the word for people who use twitter, right?) I've got a bone to pick with you. You're really really annoying!!! Ever since Boyfriend signed me up for twitter I've noticed that some of the people I follow have some bad habits. Not only is the basis of Twitter annoying: "Tell us your life in 140 characters or less" (biographies will be written in nothing but tweets from now on). But my major peeves with twitter are all the little things you can do in your tweets. Here they are in order of least annoying to wanting-to-rip-my-eyelashes-out annoying:

Tagging people in your posts:

This one isn't terribly bad. It started out so innocently but has become a slippery slope of showing off all the people you know and hang out with. Some people tag so many people in their posts there is no room left for an actual status! It's just names with that dreaded @ symbol. Poor little symbol. It used to just be used for email, but now it is a thing of great power and great stupidity.

Next is those stupid little "#somethingpopularorsociallyrelivat" tags:

Holy crap. Those things are just a cry for attention!! "Look at me! Look at my tweets because I"m talking about awesome stuff that other people are talking about too! Look at me! Look at my thoughts that matter!" NO!! Your thoughts don't matter that much! The only exception to the rule I would give for that are people who make up clever ones (See above. Someone should start using that all the time) or sports teams. Because sports are important and there are plenty of great sports pages and when they're updating a game it's awesome that they use tags like the #caps so I can find out what's going on. No one should give that much of a crap about Brittany Spears on Glee for crying out loud.

And last and most annoying (of course) is RETWEETS:

Especially those sneaky ones like Boyfriends from the other day.

mybloodypatton Word! RT @Trollyesq Bud light is the worst about 18 hours ago via web

See the RT? Yeah... that stands for "Retweet" and it's a way for people to retweet things but it still show up under their own name. See, when I'm scrolling through my feed on twitter I can spot those retweets from that little symbol they use now (the one with the arrows) and I can spot them ahead of time and make a mental note to skip them. I'm too smart for 'em!! But NOW they've got that stupid RT thing where you can type a little blurb before the thing you want to retweet and it comes up in others' feeds under your own name. TRICKEY TRICKSTERS!! If I wanted to know what those people were saying, I would follow them myself!! (Now I know someone will go back into my tweeting history and found that I have retweeted in the past. ONE THING. And it was Conan O'Brien so sue me. This was before I realized how freaking annoying it is.)

There you go... The most annoying things about twitter. Besides twitter itself.

On my dresser, ottoman, hanging on the chair, passenger's side of my car...

2010-10-07T16:29:00.001-04:00

Dear America,

I am here to inform you that when I come home from a long day of school, I like to put my purse on my dresser in my room. Or ottoman. Or my desk. Or hanging on one of the chairs in the dining room. Also when I'm driving I like to have it in the passenger's seat.

With this information you have a very important task. Apparently if every woman on facebook posts similar ideals on their status' as well breast cancer will go away.

So go, America! Go and take this tender bit of information with you and solve this horrible crisis!!

P.S. In all seriousness, go and learn more http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/

Why Bath and Body Works is heaven.

2010-09-15T00:00:00.001-04:00

I love candles. Like so freaking much!! Not only are the useful for seeing things (right now the AC is out at my house so my room is REALLY hot and my two lamps are extremely roasting so I've got some candles lit to help see. Now you'd think that fire would be hotter than lamps? Well not little fires!! I win), but they also smell great! When you get the right ones...

So in my local mall (the good one, not the crappy empty one) the Bath and Body Works is pretty much beast. Not only does it exist, but it exists in a location right across from Auntie Anne's pretzels where my friend works and he gives me free pretzels, slushies and such. What is better than spending a day smelling candles and getting free pretzels?? Nothing that's what!

Back in the day (it was probably middle school), I was in the mall with some of my bff's and they said "Let's go to Bath and Body Works." I had never been before but I had some spray or lotion from there so I pretended like I knew what I was doing (they're very judgmental in B&BW). We probably put every kind of lotion on our hands smelling them and deciding what our favorites were. There might have been a spritz of perfume or two going around as well. There was some crazy stuff happening.

Now, if you've ever put lots of different kinds of lotions on your hands you know that after the second or third scent, it begins to just blend together into stinky-ness. Imagine Sweet Pea, Warm Brown Sugar, and Moonlit Path mixed together (if you can't, go to B&BW and do some sent-chemistry experiments with their sample lotions). Well after we defiled our little hands with the stench of death, not buying anything, and probably making a mess of their store, we decided that doing cartwheels right outside the store on the linoleum floor.

Recap: Lots of lotion on our hands, cartwheels, linoleum floor. I'll let you put the pieces together.

Well now-a-days I use those little paper things to spray the scent on so I can avoid slippery and smelly hands. Much smarter, you look like you know what you're doing and the people who work there are a lot nicer because you're not getting lotion on everything.

I was recently at the Hagerstown Outlets (in Hagerstown) with a friend and we stopped into the good ol' Shower and Skeleton Job. Now this was the middle of summer so they had some fall candles on sale. Apparently they forgot some in the back and the had to get them out soon as possible to bring in the new summery flavors.

Or they were just being mean... that's the theory I'm going with because they put these AWESOME fall smells out, but they're all the small candles and they only have a few of each. And they only had one of the best smelling candle ever. Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin. It's just so darn great!!! The small candles were 2 for $10 and individually they cost $9.50 so basically you're getting a candle for 50 cents. But since there was only one of the awesome-ness that is Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin I decided to be big baby and declared that no other candle could stand up to it!

Well maybe it wasn't that dramatic, but I was pretty determined to get another. I dug through the shelves, I insisted that my friend help me, I even went and asked the lady working if they had any more. She looked at me like I was crazy, but still tried to be nice. She informed me that I was going to have to wait like three whole months to buy this awesome candle. So I did.

And I walked in the store last week and there it was. In all it's large, three-wick glory. Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin. Ohmygoodnessgracious and its 2 for $20!! Well since they were so big I didn't buy two of the same. I got Caramel Apple which is also epic. It smells so good you don't even have to light it. Just open the freaking lid and INSTANT AWESOME.

So go and support your local Bath and Body Works. Go. Go now.

Annoying Fake-tan-fake-coach-bag-girl

2010-09-01T21:28:00.003-04:00

Alright chick who sits in the back of my American Lit class. We have a problem. See, this class were in... the rest of us are learning things even if you're not.

This morning before class you were completely silent, texting or whatever it is that normal girls do, but then as SOON as the teacher started talking, you did too. To this girl sitting next to you. And it wasn't about anything about the class, no it wasn't even anything important.

It was about if you knew her or not.

Now, first of all, couldn't you have done that before he started talking? Or maybe if the girl had just sat down and you didn't have the opportunity to before, couldn't you wait 'til the end of class? Apparently not. You were just going on and on about what high school she went to and whether or not she knew someone who had gone to your high school because you could have SWORN she was dating one of your friends or something.

How do I know all this? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO TRY TO WHISPER!! You were just rambling on and on as if Professor T wasn't even talking! And this poor girl you attacked out of no where was obviously extremely uncomfortable with what was going on. You obviously didn't notice.

You were fairly quiet for a while, or maybe it was because we were broken up into groups and I couldn't hear your word-vomit over the rest of us who were discussing relevant things about Anne Bradstreet and Edward Taylor.

But then we got into one collective group and discussed it further. And once again right as the professor began talking you immediately started discussing something with the gentleman on the other side of you. Again, not even trying to whisper. Just talking about goodness knows what and laughing by yourself because this guy you were trying to impress wasn't even paying attention to you and I'm pretty sure I saw him scootch his desk further away from your crazy self.

Maybe you realized then that you were losing him because you got desperate. I mean really desperate because (while the teacher was still talking) you began to sing. I don't even know what the heck you were singing but you did! I was in complete shock!! I almost raised my hand so I could tell you to SHUT YOUR FREAKING TRAP!!

I swear if you continue to do this in the following week I will say something. I will call you out in the middle of class and I hope I get to because it will make an amazing blog post.

There are other people in this world too and they're not all here to bend at your will. By the way? Your Coach bag is fake. That's why it was so cheap. Although if you did buy it at an expensive price and you think it is real, that's even more hilarious!! And your tan may be real, I mean it is only the beginning of September, but I'm pretty sure people don't turn orange when they sunbathe.

Drop the class or drop dead.

I miss that little Chihuahua. UPDATED

2010-08-28T14:06:00.007-04:00

So I love Taco Bell! No seriously. That place is awesome and I know it gets a bad rap because their food looks like poo and they're open late for stoners and drunks (though if you are either of those, I figure you wouldn't want poo food). But despite their scandal, I think they rock! I mean who doesn't like tacos? And not just tacos but burritos! And nachos! And nacho/taco/burrito hybrids! (Like Kim Possibles nacos). They've got something for everyone there!

Including quesadillas.

Now... quesadillas and I have a love-hate relationship. It's complicated, yet simple. I'll have to take you back to when I was 11. Back when I decided that I would become a vegetarian. Now during this momentary laps of judgement (momentary meaning almost 6 years) I developed a love for all fast food restaurants that served vegetarian stuff. Like Burger King had a vegie burger which sucks, but due to the lack of protein in my system I was delusional and thought it was awesome.

Taco Bell was also a beacon of vegetable light in this meat filled world. Not only could I get a bean and cheese burrito, I could also get a cheese quesadilla. Imagine the wonder-filled mind of a pre-teen discovering that while her sisters munched happily on their delicious meat, she didn't have to sit there staring at her salad (thanks a lot, McDonalds) but she too could have normal food!!

Well even though I now realize that meat was good for the body and soul, I still eat vegie options at certain restaurants (e.g.*: Subway, Chipotle) and Taco Bell is no exception. Their delicious cheese quesadilla calls out to me. Beconing me to come closer and nibble on the corners of its triangle-shaped, gooey, spicy goodness!!

Side Note: I am getting so hungry right now because it's 4:30 and being over at Boyfriends house often has trained me to want dinner at 5, when my family eats dinner at 7 if were lucky. This granola bar isn't going to satisfy.

But I digress.

I am not a large person. I'm about 5' even and 100 lbs. So imagine me at 11-15 years old! I was quite petite. A whole cheese quesadilla and a soda were all that I needed for a meal! And it's a pretty good deal too. But now I'm 20. I'm older and more active and I NEED MORE FOOD!! But the problem is my darling little goodness is too small! That cheese isn't filling! The tortilla is the bit you want and there's only one of those. The solution? Two quesadillas!!

BUT THAT'S A LIE! Two quesadillas is far too much food and I'm overwhelmed by the sheer volume of it I can hardly eat half of the second! Then I've got this leftover quesadilla that won't re-heat properly and I personally don't like it cold so what am I going to do with it? I just hope that Boyfriend or one of my sisters wants it.

But then I discovered the bean and cheese burrito WITH a quesadilla!!

Side Note: So my mother decided to make a liar out of me and have dinner ready at 5:13. And then I got distracted by Gilmore Girls. It's not my favorite show, but when my sister gets in a frenzy it's hard to go away.

Anyway, back to my quesadilla rant. So burrito/quesadilla combo seemed like a good idea! It's yummy and filling. Perfect relationship, right? Well... the transition from awesome quesadilla to okay burrito is just so awkward they just don't end up being a good combo. It starts off with this light, airy, crispy goodness to a gushy, heavy, poo filled tube. And if you eat the burrito first you won't be able to eat the quesadilla without the fear of being full!!

So it's a conundrum. The thing I love has turned against me. But I've discovered an awesome solution. The crunch wrap supreme. Now don't think I am betraying my first love... the quesadilla will always hold a special place in my heart as a light snack or a pick me up. But when I need a real man I'll turn to my new, hunky, Taco Bell order CRUNCH WRAP SUPREME!!

I'm so lucky I had dinner at an early hour or I'd just freak out right now. But I still want Mexican-American grub.

*UPDATE
So I recently discovered that my grammar was incorrect before in paragraph 5. I previously used the abbreviation "i.e." when, in fact, it should have been "e.g.". I stumbled upon this while reading another blog that is incredibly funny. I hope this did not harm you in any way and I will do my best to not commit these sorts of blunders in the future.
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/ie

Important People.

2010-08-14T22:33:00.010-04:00

So there are a few important people in my life and I feel like I should introduce them. I have

their permission so no worries.

The boyfriend: So the boyfriend and I have been together since May of '08... though we had a 3 month break from November '09 to January '10. Then we got back together. Yay! We like long walks on the beach and hockey. We met at church waaaaay back in '02. Well technically we were on a trip with the church in Texas. Well technically I was on the trip. He was a leader. Yeah... He was my youth leader for 2 or 3 years. He left the church and I didn't hear from him until '08 and that's when we started dating. I was about to graduate high school. It was kind of weird at first. But we worked things out. :]

Sister #1: So I'm the oldest of 4 girls, but this one is only a year younger than me so she'll be #1. She's 19 now and we've always been close. Growing up we were the only two kids for a while so we had two of everything. We even had similar outfits though we weren't twins. People would ask sometimes. Still do. I don't think we look that much alike. She was the first one of us sisters to cut her hair short which was pretty awesome. Mom always kept our hair long and when she was like 15 she just cut it all off. She also went to Ghana for almost 6 months right after graduating from high school. That was really awesome, yet hard because we did everything together. Camp, girl scouts, school. I had never been far apart from her before. She comes to community college with me now which rocks.

Sister #2: The one right after #1. She's 17 now and still in high school. For some reason she's much taller than the rest of us and has this massive curly hair when it is quite obvious that Sister #1 and I have very straight hair. She gets most of her genetics from my dads side which explains it. My parents are very short Mom is 5'2" and Dad is 5'3" (though he claims to be taller). I'm 5' even and Sisters 1&3 are smaller than that. So Sister #2 being like 5'3" and growing is weird. We do have this tall uncle, so shortness isn't everywhere, but still. It's weird. Oh, also she works at the movies and gets us free tickets all the time which is the best. And she's into photography and is really really good.

Sister #3: She's the baby of the family. We called her "bebe" for years! She's 14 now and looks a lot like me. It's kind of freaky. She's going to be a freshman in high school which also blows my mind. She's a lot like me in a bunch of other ways too. For example, we're both book worms. She started reading my books (books that were already way above my reading level, and she's 6 years younger than me) and it just snowballed from there. Now I have to hide the one's I'm reading or I'll never see them again. She's not working yet, but we're going to make her work at the movies like Sister #2 so we can get more free movie tickets!!

StepBrother: One of the Brits!! He's 17 and he's in college over in England. He's in a dancing school and prettymuch gets to pop and lock all day long. Well part of the day. There's other types of dancing too. He works at a book store/CVS type deal and has many-a-good stories to tell about insane British people. He is so good at telling stories and we make him tell the same one's over and over. I'm pretty sure he hates us for it.

StepSister: Another Brit! Holy cow there are a lot... Just kidding. Only 3. But still, watch out. She's 15 and is still in high school across the pond. She's well fashionable and makes me look like a freaking paper doll wearing burlap clothing. It's pretty ridiculous. She wants to be a rugby player when she grows up. Just kidding, but she still plays rugby which is pretty bad to the bone.

Me! Yay!! I'm pretty important if I do say so myself.

Got a nigglin' feeling he's left the top off the "Shake 'n' Vac"

2010-08-13T19:21:00.006-04:00

So my blog name is weird... I know. I mean, who spells out the dots in ".co.uk"? No one, that's who!! Well... except for me.

So I got this name from a British TV show. I'm actually not British. I'm American. But I think I'm British because my stepfather is and his two children who still live in England are awesome. I want to be like them.

The TV show is called "The Catherine Tate Show" and it's classic, dirty, British humor and I love it. Catherine Tate is a comedian and basically she just does different sketches based on characters she's created. Some of them are one-time deals like "I can do that" woman. And the ginger (one of my favorites!)

But the long standing characters are great! And they usually have the same plot. Like her teenager "Lauren" and "You are not going to BELIEVE what I've just done!". All good! But this new character she's made, Georgie, is freaking great!

Georgie and Martin both work in some dinky little office building and every day when she comes in they sing some random song, then she asks how his weekend was. He tells her about something he did with his daughter. Then she totally asks some embarrassing about his daughter. It's awful! And then she asks him if she can borrow something which leads her to tell him about her newest fundraiser. He's obviously really annoyed so you know that this happens often. And usually her and her fellow fundraisers are doing something absolutely ridiculous for something that doesn't even matter. It's hilarious!!! Then she insists that every 38 minutes this particular thing they're trying to fundraise for happens and that he can log on to the website to check. www.SOMETHINGRIDICULOUS.co.uk

And that's where my website comes from.

Here's a vid:

Do other people feel like they're destined to starve themselves to death too?

2010-08-10T10:42:00.002-04:00

Hi! I'm Carley. Your average community college attendee. I graduated from high school in '08 and it's prettymuch been downhill from there. Not like I was awesome before that. I'm kind of weird... And not in that cool way where you break all the rules and get noticed for being a radical movement starter like the flappers or hippies. But weird as in how-am-I-still-even-alive weird.

It was nice in high school because all my friends were weird too. And we thought we were the first kind of weird because we wore funky eye shadow and drew on our jeans. Yeah... we were gonna shake the very foundations of private schooling by putting funky buttons on the lapels of our blazers. But now that I've been cast from the warm and comforting womb of secondary education, I find myself alone in this harsh, cold, and crowded world of college. Everyone goes to other places all across the country (and if they're cool, the world!) and suddenly the cocoon of friendship and acceptance you've built around yourself is ripped away from you and you're left shivering in an EN101 class and you realize that your parents were wrong when they thought sending you to a private high school would make you smarter.

So as I wrestle with my day to day oddities I wonder to myself... Is this normal? Do other people forget to do laundry? And eat? And still live with their parents who guilt-trip them into everything? And get acne after 16? And forget to change their calendar? And go into shock if they discover that they're the only ones cleaning a bathroom shared by 3 other sisters who are pigs and can't even take out their own disgusting trash? And feel guilty for putting their stuffed animals in a box in the closet? I'm sorry... there just isn't enough room in this 9x9 broom closet I sleep in to give you proper space.

But I think the biggest thing is that I forget to eat. I can go til about 4 in the early evening on a Saturday and say to myself "Oh... I forgot to eat today!" And by then I'm already on the metro headed to church in DC and I won't be able to eat proper food until 8 or later because the church only serves coffee cakes and such and there's no way I'm walking 2 blocks to subway by myself. I don't care if this is a nice part of the Nations Capital, I'm not getting raped by a homeless tranny with his pet pigeon. Not happening.

But oh look! The church is serving cranberry muffins! That can tide me over! So I buy one and then only eat the top part because then I'm full. Because the hungrier I get the sicker I become and the less appetizing food actually is. So by the time I get a real meal in front of me I only eat about a third of it and my boyfriend wonders what the heck is wrong with me and I say I guess I'm not really that hungry, but then at 12:30 at night I'm raiding the fridge for nacho cheese and pretzels and I wonder why I can't poop normally.

I'm glad I'm not a mother because I'd probably forget to feed my kids too... and then Social Services would be called. And oh, what would the neighbors think? Though I usually remember to feed my rabbit so maybe that's a good sign that I'm not too irresponsible and maybe one day I can make a proper life eating and pooping normally and feeding my kids healthy things like carrots and peanut butter.

Is This Normal?.co.uk/Yes it is/No it's not...

21 Day Daniel Fast

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 12

Thirty day Photo Challenge

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 11

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 10

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 09

Honest Prayers

Breaking up sucks...

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 08

A late Mothers Day blog.

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 07

6/2(1+2)

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 06 (Rated R)

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 05

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 04

Thirty Day Photo Challenge- Day 3

Thirty Day Photo Challenge-Day 02

Thirty Day Photo Challenge-Day 1

I started this a long time ago, when he shaved and am just getting around to posting it...

My sisters are naggy.

For all the poor kids...

Merry Christmas.

You can totally read this post later...

This water tastes like wine. Jesus' friends probably said that too...

A Sudden Death in Our Family Circle

Hockey, Jackass, "s", and Attack of the Redneck Mommy consume my life... oh and lice.

Reasons why Twitter sucks and I hate Boyfriend for forcibly signing me up.

On my dresser, ottoman, hanging on the chair, passenger's side of my car...

Why Bath and Body Works is heaven.

Annoying Fake-tan-fake-coach-bag-girl

I miss that little Chihuahua. *UPDATED*

Important People.

Got a nigglin' feeling he's left the top off the "Shake 'n' Vac"

Do other people feel like they're destined to starve themselves to death too?

I miss that little Chihuahua. UPDATED